There aren’t enough hours in the day for all the things I wish I could do. But outside of eliminating the biological need for sleep, I’m not able to increase the daily time available to me. So, the next option requires that I prioritize my to-dos to ensure I’m hitting everything I need to while not consistently overextending myself. How do we organize our responsibilities to support our need to survive and function while also promoting our growth and wellness?
First: Urgent vs. Important
First, it’s helpful to know what needs doing and how important it is for you. Consider making a list of your “to-dos” and noting which are “urgent” (needs handling soon) and which are “important” (essential or of significant meaning). See this example, which includes only personal/home responsibilities:
Task | Urgent? | Important? |
Balance checkbook (avoid overdrafts) | Yes | Yes |
Submit insurance claim for medical visit | Yes | Yes |
Basement repair | No | Yes |
Groceries | No | Yes |
Holidays: make plan for family visits | No | Yes |
Neighborhood cookout: bring a dish | Yes | No |
Attend kids’ sports games this week | No | Yes |
Community yard sale: shop, sell | No | No |
Plan date w/partner | No | Yes |
Clean out backyard shed | No | No |
Your list will look different, but the goal is to identify things that need doing or that really matter to us versus things we tend to do or feel obligated to do that aren’t serving a need anymore.
Second: Sort Your Tasks
Next, take your tasks and sort them according to the quad matrix below, which serves to answer two main questions:
- What can I delay? (Doesn’t need doing right now)
- What can I delegate? (Do I have to be the one executing this task?)
Try it Out!
This brief exercise can help us identify and prioritize the tasks we have (which brings clarity) and organize when they’ll be completed (which can bring peace, focus, and motivation to an overwhelmed mind). There are several phone apps for this matrix as well (often called the “Eisenhower Matrix” or an “Urgent-Important Matrix”). Give one a try—it can be helpful for listing out categories of responsibilities (work, family, home, etc.) and alleviates the mental burden of having to remember everything, all the time, while going about your day.
Heather Ulstad, MS MERP
Heather is a business operations director and mental health professional with a background in federal law enforcement, psychology, and forensic science. She enjoys high-paced environments and has worked alongside complex teams, with a steady focus on values-driven leadership, clear communication, and collaboration. In her counseling work, Heather integrates solutions-focused, relationship-centered, and trauma-processing approaches—often starting with early experiences to help clients better understand themselves and expand resilience, confidence, agency, and potential.
Outside of work, she values time with her husband and their two daughters, loves health and performance psychology and neuroscience, and is happiest exploring the mountains, forests, and new places with her favorite people.
